Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Hamster Wheel or Heaven

Are you aiming for Heaven here on earth? Or are you happy to stay on the Hamster Wheel of Life

Are you stuck on the Hamster Wheel of Life? Or are you aiming for Heavenly Heights here on earth? Odd though it may seem, these two things aren’t as far apart as we may think. The only thing which separates them is the way we look at life.  Life’s Lens is coloured in one of two ways; fearfully or lovingly. My life turned round once I started to embrace life’s experiences lovingly rather than fearfully, deepening my understanding of 'life after death!'

Fear of the unknown is a real challenge! And perhaps the biggest fear we all have is of Death and the hurt and pain we experience when we lose a loved one to Spirit.   Fear is a mask which blinds us to what is really going on, even though the truth’s right out there for all to see..

 It was like that when I lost Mum. . She was much too young to be taken away at 56 years old. Ridiculous though it may sound, I still felt orphaned as a young woman and very alone.
 Loss coloured my world from a very early age:  I lost my Dad when just four and a half years old, as previously mentioned. (see previous blog), Two hospital stays when still young just added to my insecurity. A lot of my life, I realised much later on, had been spent on alert, expecting the worst to happen....and of course the worst did!  So when I lost Mum, I just wanted to run as far away as possible. I learned much later on, this is the wrong thing to do: diving for cover isn’t the answer, taking that Big Jump forward, even though it takes courage to face up to the hurt, is. Avoidance tactics never do work.

What happened next should have been a golden opportunity to receive the comfort I needed, but I wasn’t ready to take up the challenge. My eyes were still clouded with fear!

My first evening out some weeks after her loss, was to a new yoga and meditation class. Already a yoga fan, I floated off into a blissful state of relaxation as the meditation began. Stretched out on the floor, and wrapped securely under my blanket, I sighed and breathed a very long breath out, letting go of some of the pent up emotion that had been building up in my body since Mum’s death.  At first just a blip, a light built up slowly in my inner vision. I was sinking into a blissful infinity; each out breath transported me further into what was now an all encompassing brilliance.  There was something about it that seemed increasingly familiar, although I couldn’t put my finger on it to start with. I sighed once more, and the light began to morph into form. Mum!  She standing in the middle of a bridge of light, smiling straight at me her arms outstretched, looking radiant and happy. The love radiating from her was phenomenal, and unlike anything I had ever experienced before. But, I shrank back, because it challenged everything I knew about life......and death at that time. It also re-opened the still very raw wound.  So I pitched straight back into my physical body still wrapped cosily in a blanket on the floor, not willing to take another look.

 Mum had died suddenly when the experts said she was getting better.  That was shocking enough, and yet here she was standing right in front of me, apparently in the pink of health, and absolutely nothing like the shell I’d seen collapsed on the kitchen floor only a few weeks before hand.  This very real experience was a real gem. However, such was my state of mind,  I just wasn’t ready to take the Big Jump forward and acknowledge her or the gift I had just been given. I was unable to stay open to this beautiful spiritual experience, because. I was too focused on the loss. Now I realise Mum was trying to comfort me from the other side of life and show me she was just a whisper away. 

I now know just how important it is to stay open to the experience despite all the pain. And it is our willingness to do just that, which is the healing and the inspiration we are looking for. Inspirations we can pass on to other people too! Staying open to the love we feel for our friends and relatives on the other side, in spite of the pain is the key to our ongoing connection to them.  They are just a whisper away. 

We human beings spend our lifetime running away from reality, and end up scratching around on the hamster wheel of life.  Turn the lock on the doorway called fear, rather than ducking for cover. The open doorway gives us access to our loved ones who have been waiting for us to hear their call. We have to dive right in rather than duck for cover. For it is by staying in the moment, that we receive the richest gifts.  And what could be more glorious that knowing there is no such thing as death, just a crossing to ‘the Higher Life! And that our loved ones continue to Walk by Our Side?


  1. What a powerful experience, Gillian. Interesting thought - how to strike a balance between wanting to run away, grieve, lick our wounds and being open to the pain and emotion. Ultimately accessing comfort that we are not raised, usually, to believe is available to us. X

    1. thankyou for your comment...that's exactly right..but as I've come to understand spirit and angels are always there by our side trying to urge us onx

    2. thankyou for your comment...that's exactly right..but as I've come to understand spirit and angels are always there by our side trying to urge us onx

  2. What a powerful and uplifting story, Gillian. A very poignant experience.