|Life is a 'school of hard knocks'|
especially when we lose someone or something we hold dear.
This article explores the best way to handle the gaping hole that opens up when that happens.
For Peter and Margaret 2014
Another look at Life
Christmas is a time of New Beginnings and of Celebration here on earth, but it's also a time when many people leave the planet. Loss of someone close or even something you hold dear is never easy, but an especially hard knock during the festive season. This year I have also lost two very good and much cherished friends, although as a medium, I have no doubts that they live on. But we too have to learn to 'live on', or to thrive rather than just survive in the shadow of that loss.
I believe our loved ones are quite literally 're-born' into a 'Higher Life'; one that doesn't need a physical body, and that they can communicate through a medium like me to give proof of survival. No-one wants to have their loved ones suffer any longer than necessary so I am always happy to celebrate their lives and wish them well on their journey. And I have no doubt that once they reach the other side of life, they quickly thrive in their new surroundings, and come back to proclaim it loud and clear. But what about us, the ones that are left behind? How can we learn to thrive rather than exist in the shadows of our own lives. After all, death is one of the biggest taboos here in western society even before it comes to call on each of us. How can we learn to thrive rather than merely survive when our lives have been touched by its shadow?
Life just doesn't go on as normal of course. It can't do, the person or thing we care most about is no longer with us. So not only are our loved ones beginning a new journey, 'on the other side of life' (where they are healed and supported by the Spirit World as they get to know the place), we are also on a journey as well, and it's important we acknowledge it.
They call it a transition. Our loved ones make the transition into the Higher Life but we make a transition too even though we hang around on earth for at least a while longer The transition is a step by step process during which we ease ourselves into our new lives. It involves coming to terms with all the emotions, doubts and fear that have been stirred up as we get to grips with our loss.
In short it involves taking a long hard look at the gap rather than trying to shy away from it, and cracking our beliefs about death wide open.
Death as a process
And when we dare to face our fears an amazing thing happen; a whole new way of life opens up. As one door closes in Life, another one really does open (into a Higher Life). We can't just gloss over the gap and pretend it's not there; it's a stairway meant to be climbed one step at a time until you reach the top of your own personal mountain, and life will never be the same again. Life and Death are just different sides to the same coin....and the gap is your passport to a deeper understanding of death as an ongoing part of the natural process of life, rather than a door being slammed shut in your face.
We really can't die.
There is no such thing as death.
Death is a process,
a gradual letting go into a higher state of awareness
It isn't a once off happening.
But something that continues
in one way or another throughout our lives.
It's rehearsal for the big one
when we can finally let go of our physical body
onto the next rung of existence.
As a medium, I believe the greatest gift we can give our clients is the gift of hope, and the opportunity to look at life from a different perspective. Whilst it doesn't deaden the pain of that loss, it does opening up an avenue of hope and a deeper understanding of life.
Gillian Holland December 2014
|Ride the Wave of Life - when caring can be too much!|
When we care too much
Life grinds to a halt when we care too much and aren't prepared to take risks.
My first ride on the roller coaster at Chessington was a real revelation, teaching me a great deal about life and the way we approach it. Roller Coasters were something I always avoided well into adult life. When I finally steeled myself to do it, I had a whale of a time, screaming much louder than anyone else on board,that's including the kids. Of course I clambered back on again and again and again, still screaming half fearfully, half in exhilaration ending the day with a red, raw throat. In spite of all that, I was thoroughly pleased with myself. 'I felt the fear, and did it anyway!' What's more it really did help my confidence.
Life's like that; full of things we would rather avoid but sometimes just can't afford to Being aware of and accepting our feelings really does help up through, Life is indeed just like a wave with a whole series of ups and downs. Embracing the wave gives us the confidence to embrace life. Trying to battle against the tide is self-defeating.
We need to befriend our feelings and fears. There's no point battling upstream when the currents carrying you in the other direction. Each wave has a natural ebb and flow, just like any roller coaster, so we need to appreciate the ebb as much as the flow. When we are aware of our feelings and what they mean for us, we can use the ebb to let go of our fears and use the momentum to move us forward.
Feelings are just that feelings..They are our friends. We've given them labels according to their intensity, but in reality its denying what we are feeling makes us feel worse and ready to explode at the slightest thing.
We dam our feelings up when we care too much what other people think. And we dam up our feelings to avoid being ridiculed.
It is a tough one this, but when we care too much about what other people think, we are not being true to ourselves.And we are damming up our feelings, caring so much about other people but at our own expense.
When I was on that roller coaster, each dip created enough momentum to keep moving forward. Life's like! Expressing our feelings creates the energy to let us move forward. I did lots of screaming as I have already said.This probably wasn't to everyone else's liking, but it was me being me. It was me celebrating life like crazy. It was me living life on the edge pushing back my boundaries. It was me having a whale of a time. It was me embracing the wave, overcoming my fears and enjoying the ride.
We wrap ourselves up in a tightly spun cocoon in a bid for security, but this kind of security is claustrophobic, and also destructive. Letting go of our inhibitions and fears, expressing ourselves fully is the ebb, the force lying behind the flow. Ebb and flow go together like two peas in a pod. Security tell us to play it safe but also masks our fears, having us so bound up in a rigid cocoon that we cannot move forward
So one question, do you care enough about yourself to let go or at least consider letting go of the fears that have stopped you from riding the wave of your own life. it's time we stopped and listened to the whispers of our Soul. I'd say you are worth it. I'd say we are all worth it.
|The greatest gift you can give yourself is plenty of ME time.|
Christmas isn't meant to be a feeding frenzy, although it's fast becoming one. Just as we cram too much busy busy activity into the big festive build up, we cram just as much into our mouths to keep us going, losing our enjoyment of food and eating for all the wrong reasons! Life is meant to be savoured, and so is food.
The greatest gift you can give yourself, especially at this time of the year is plenty, and I do mean plenty of ME time. Especially at Christmas where food stares out at you from every available corner - tempting, ever tempting.
Everyone wants to look their best for Christmas, and I am certainly no exception, so I have embarked on what I think is a really healthy 'diet' and am doing rather well at the moment even if I do say so myself.
Yesterday I had a bit of a hiccup. You could say too much on my plate, and you would be right!!!
Now I am not talking about loading all those tempting naughty but nice foods, I'm talking about being snowed under by all the bits and pieces fighting for my attention as the Big Day draws ever closer.
I found my thoughts and taste buds gasping for something sweet to satisfy those constant cravings and take some of the pressure off my shoulders. Luckily I stopped myself in time, thanks to my SW friends who told me, and quite rightly that I would only regret it....
So I'm a comfort eater, using food not to nourish me, but to deaden my worries about getting it all done in time, trying to be perfect. So I started to pick mindless at my food, although eating in this way gives me no satisfaction or pleasure. I was struck that something which is delicious, tempting and nourishing can be turned into something which is completely destructive, if we just keep ramming it down our throats. Its a compulsion.
So where does the ME time come in? I have made a pact with myself to be more observant, to watch out for the signs of overload which could ruin my diet leaving me wanting to kick myself.
I am making the effort to factor in some down-time, rather than keep pushing forward in ever decreasing circle, to develop a positive rather than a negative relationship with food. Appreciate what I am eating, every morsel....and stopping when I've had enough. I really want to dispense with that awful bloated feeling that leaves me shattered and feeling very very guilty.
I think we are all guilty of mindless, and potentially destructive eating when we slip into overdrive. And Christmas is certainly the season when most of us do it. It's like we a heave a collective sigh of relieve, when we sit down to Christmas dinner, and then just go into mindless feeding frenzy mode. How much do we actually enjoy and how much do we actually taste when this happens.
Food is meant to energise. When eaten consciously and sensibly, its the fuel we need to embrace and enjoy life fully. Mindless eating does just the reverse. It is not so much what you do, it is truthfully the way that you do it. Life just like food is meant to be savoured.
Gillian Holland 2014